The First 9 Wedding Planning Tasks After Getting Engaged
With that sparkly new bling on your finger and a wedding party shortlist in your Notes app, it’s time to plan the celebration of a lifetime! But wedding planning can quickly become overwhelming, especially when you don’t know which wedding planning tasks to tackle first.
I want to protect your peace of mind during the wedding planning process so you can enjoy the experience of finacé-hood! You shouldn’t spend your entire wedding planning journey desperate for it to end. But to ensure an effortless wedding planning process, you need to approach your experience with a plan. Luckily, I’ve got one ready to go for you!
As a wedding photographer, I’ve been to more weddings than I can count and walked beside a variety of couples from booking day to wedding day and beyond. As a bride, I also stumbled trying to figure out what the next step was. And I’ve noticed that there are nine steps couples can take immediately after getting engaged to set the tone for a fun-filled engagement.
Let’s dive in so you have the best possible wedding planning experience from the start!
The First 9 Wedding Planning Tasks After Getting Engaged
1. Celebrate
Woah woah woah…before you go rushing off to the bookstore to buy your wedding planning binder, stop to smell the roses a bit! You’ve just taken a massive life step that’s about to change everything. That’s huge! And it’s something you should celebrate!
Before you go all-in on wedding planning, spread the news, admire your ring, and maybe even plan a party! Go on a post-engagement date commemorating your first day as fiancés. Book a spa day with your wedding party-to-be. The options are endless, but do something that feels special to you to celebrate everything to come.
2. Plan Your Budget
The worst feeling ever is to find your dream attire or venue, only to realize too late that it’s triple what your budget allows. To avoid big disappointments, determine a firm budget and your wiggle room range before you start looking into any vendors.
And while there’s no exact science to building the perfect budget, many wedding planning guides can help you break down each vendor by expected percentage, allowing you to set aside a realistic amount for each element. But to determine your overall budget, there are three questions you need to ask:
How much money do you and your partner want to spend on the wedding?
Depending on your location, the average wedding price can vary wildly. But just because the average local wedding costs more or less than what you want to spend, you shouldn’t feel pressured in a direction you don’t want to move. It’s essential to determine how much you want to spend, either through disposable income or loans. But make sure the decision makes sense for your unique financial situation.
How much help are you receiving from loved ones?
Some parents, grandparents, and extended family create savings accounts for their loved ones to wedding plan. Make sure you know if any of these special gift accounts exist for you to use. But money isn’t the only way loved ones can help your budget! Is your aunt a florist? Does your BFF work at the local Four Seasons? Does your sister know how to write calligraphy and create watercolor invitations? While you won’t want to pester loved ones for their connections, you can always ask without applying pressure if they’re willing to give you a hand!
How much of your wedding are you willing to DIY?
A great way to save a few bucks is to DIY elements of your day, whether that’s saying “I do” on your grandparents’ farm, creating bouquets with your friends, or designing your invitations. If the budget is tight, determine which elements you’re willing to DIY to save money and which pieces you want to entrust to the professionals.
Remember that wedding planning is a lengthy process filled with unexpected changes and speed bumps, and be sure to build room into your budget for additional fees. And don’t forget: a great way to keep prices down is to book a weekday wedding! Venues and vendors often have non-peak pricing for celebrations like these.
3. Build Your Guest List
With a budget in mind, you’re ready to start planning your guest list. Why budget first? Because each guest you add to your list can add about $100-$300+ to your reception cost! So, it’s vital to know what you’re working with before texting 300 people that they should expect a Save the Date.
There are several elements to consider when building your list, including:
Who is most important to my partner and me?
Is my location accessible to elderly and physically challenged guests?
What do I want the dance floor to feel like?
Should I ask my parents and in-laws for their lists?
Do I want to offer plus-ones?
How many people will my dream venue hold?
I recommend building an A-list (your must-invites) and a B-list (your maybe-invites). As you receive more information from vendors, you can move people from the B-list to the A-list!
4. Save Your Date
Now, it’s time to choose the big day! I recommend doing this after determining your budget because you may need to delay a bit until you can save up a little extra money for your dream day. So, start by choosing the year you want to aim for, then ask yourself:
Are there any holidays, birthdays, or existing anniversaries to avoid?
Is there a specific season you’d like to see reflected in your photos?
Is there a three-day holiday weekend you want to choose to allow more time off?
Is there a specific date you’d like to honor (i.e., the anniversary of your first date, the birthday of a passed loved one, or a unique number, like 2/22/2022)?
Are there dates that important people in your life can’t make?
Use these questions to narrow down your pool of potential dates. And if you don’t have a single, must-have date, it’s time to start talking to venues and vendors to see what they have available!
5. Find Your Venue
First things first, decide if you want to go the destination or local route. Then, it’s time to start venue-hunting within your dream location! But remember: the more popular the venue, the further out they’ve likely booked…and the more expensive they are. So, for the sake of your sanity, only look at venues that are firmly within your budget to avoid heartbreak! But no matter how popular you think a venue is, all venues tend to book fast within peak wedding season. So, don’t delay in contacting your venues!
Before you meet with venues, make sure you ask yourself:
Are you willing to be flexible on the date and guest list to book a specific venue?
Are you willing (and able!) to adjust your budget for a dream venue?
Do you want a venue that has a getting-ready suite?
Do you want a venue that allows guests to stay on-site?
Do you want a single venue or separate ceremony and reception venues? How far are you willing to travel between them?
Do you want a private venue or one with other people nearby?
As you’re researching venues and talking to the managers, make sure you ask:
If your specific date isn’t available, are there any other open dates nearby? Maybe even weekdays if you’re open to it?
Do they include all of the tables, chairs, etc.? Or will you need to hire a rental company?
Do they require you to choose vendors from a specific list? Or can you hire any vendors you like?
Does the venue allow early arrivals and later reception departures?
Does the venue have in-house catering?
If you’re planning to include your dog, is the venue dog-friendly?
If you choose to partner with a planner, they can help you find a venue that meets all (or at least most) of your qualifications quickly!
6. Book a Planner
If you’ve decided that taking on all your wedding planning tasks solo isn’t for you, planners are incredible resources for busy couples with the budget to invest in them! Not only can they book your vendors for you, but they can also help you find vendors that match your vision and suit your budget. That takes a lot of stress off your plate. Plus, planners often have go-to vendors they trust, which means you can rest easy knowing that your vendors have been vetted. And if you’re planning a destination wedding, a planner is a must!
If you decide a planner isn’t necessary, I recommend at least booking a day-of or week-of coordinator. They’ll connect with all of your vendors to ensure everyone’s on the same page, ensure they arrive on time, and smooth over any small speed bumps that arise. Your venue might even provide one, so make sure to ask!
7. Book a Photographer
Finding a wedding photographer and/or videographer you trust in a style you love can be intimidating. But there are a few things you can do to ensure you choose the right person to document your day:
Define your style: Start by browsing Pinterest and Instagram to get an idea of your favorite photography style. Do you prefer vibrant, true-to-life hues or desaturated, moody ones? Fashion-inspired and posed or candid and natural? Radiant? Dreamy? Photojournalistic? The options are endless, so you’ll need to decide what you like most before you go searching.
Search within your location: Photographers often tag their locations on social media and include their primary locations in their website and social media taglines. So, try typing “[YOUR LOCATION] wedding photographer” into search features and see what you find!
Ask friends and family: Do you have loved ones who recently said, “I do?” Talk to them about their experiences with their photographers. If they have a photographer they love whose style matches yours, book a consultation with them. They could be a perfect fit!
Consider their client experience: What do you want most from your wedding photographer? Help planning your wedding day timeline? Vendor recommendations? A fast gallery delivery? Posing help? Make a list of what you need and scour photographers' websites to find the ones who deliver client experiences you’ll love!
Ask to see a full gallery: The way a photographer captures a full day will give you a window into what your experience with them would be like. Don’t be afraid to ask photographers to see a full gallery as you consider booking them!
See if your personalities click: Photographers are a unique kind of vendor. This may come as a surprise, but building a friendship with your photographer will directly translate into better pictures! You’ll feel more comfortable with them, and they’ll put more effort into understanding your needs if you click as people, too. So, take the time to get to know your potential photographer. It’ll pay off in a big way by the end!
Finally, I recommend avoiding massive companies that don’t connect you to a photographer until your wedding week. Even though the price can be amazing, some things are too good to be true. Companies like these make it difficult for you to express preferences and build a relationship with your photographer in advance, leading to images that feel a little one-size-fits-all.
8. Find Your Dream Attire
Whether you’re envisioning yourself in a gown, tux, jumpsuit, or something custom, you don’t want to wait to find “the fit!” Orders, deliveries, and alterations take time. The gown I loved most would have taken seven months to prepare, so I had to buy it off the rack! Do yourself a favor and plan far, far ahead rather than leaving yourself in a panicked, “off the rack” situation.
9. Take a Breath
This is supposed to be fun, remember? Now that you’ve begun tackling your wedding planning tasks, relax and enjoy everything to come. Cheers to you, nearly-weds! I hope this experience is a dream!
As a wedding photographer and former bride, I deliver a personalized experience to every couple who books me. Weddings aren’t one-size-fits-all, so why should your photography coverage be? Whether you’re local to the PNW (hey, neighbor!), located somewhere else in the States, or planning a destination wedding, I would be honored to document your special day. Let’s connect, talk over my custom-tailored all-day coverage and the celebration you’re planning, and find out if we’re a perfect fit!
Featured Vendors:
Venue : Ethereal Gardens
Bridal Gown Designer : Ines Di Santo
Bridal Salon : The White Dress, Corona Del Mar
Hair and Makeup : Meleah
Floral Design : Flover Studio
Music : DJ Ace Conlon with Vox DJs
