How to Customize the Wedding Ceremony of Your Dreams
Your wedding ceremony is the most critical part of your day! Even if you’re just looking forward to the big dance party, this is when you officially say “I do” to the love of your life. So, let’s make sure it’s planned to perfection. As an Idaho wedding photographer, I know my couples want a ceremony that feels unique to them. And that all starts with the planning!
How long should it be? Where should guests sit? How do you want to enter and exit? We’ll get into all this and more as we explore your customization options!
How to Customize Your Wedding Ceremony
Seating Layout and Design
When it comes to the layout of your day, you’re probably picturing the traditional “church-style” layout: two columns of guests with an aisle down the middle. But did you know there are other options? And there are other little surprises you can include in the seats, too! Let’s explore some of them:
Traditional Aisle: A traditional aisle setup is when seats are on either side of a center aisle. This is the most common choice, with the wedding party walking down the aisle to mark the beginning of the ceremony.
Circular Seating: You can have a circular setup with the guests all surrounding you, seated or standing. A circular ceremony can feel more intimate and close, but might not work for a larger group.
Spiral Seating: In a spiral setup, the wedding party walks through all the seats to get to the front. This can be a way of designing a more intimate ceremony because the guests can see the entire wedding party.
Seat of Honor: Some couples choose to honor loved ones who have passed by reserving a seat of honor for them. This can be done with a floral bouquet, a picture, or even an item from that loved one.
In-Seat Ceremony Favors: Depending on the weather, you may want to offer hand fans, parasols, bottles of water, or a blanket to your guests at their seats!
Flower Petal Baskets: If you want an exit where guests toss flower petals on you, plan to have baskets fastened to the ends of the aisles.
Unplugged Phone Basket: You may want an unplugged ceremony where your guests are only focused on the two of you. So, place a basket at the head of the aisle for guests to place their phones in and retrieve them later.
Lanterns, Greenery, and Other Decor: You can decorate the aisle and ceremony area in any way you choose! Lanterns or string lights can be cute for an evening or an indoor ceremony. Flowers and garlands are also a beautiful way to add more decor to your ceremony.
Backdrops
Sure, your guests will be completely captivated by you during your wedding ceremony, but what do you want them to see behind and around you as you read your vows? Here are a few options to consider:
Arches and Floral Installations: An arch or floral installation can be a beautiful backdrop to your day. These come in any shape you can imagine: circles, triangles, squares, pillars, you name it! You can also make this a religious symbol, like a cross.
Gazebo or Other Outdoor Structure: The venue might have its own outdoor structure on the grounds, like a gazebo. You can decorate these to fit in with the design of your day. Drape cloth or attach flowers to the pavilion to dress it up a bit.
The Natural World: Depending on where you get married, the natural world could be beautiful enough to stand on its own! I love being an Idaho wedding photographer because our state is so naturally beautiful.
Entrances
From the guests of honor to yourself and your partner, how do you want everyone to arrive at the ceremony? There are a few options to explore:
The Ring Bearer: The ring bearer brings the wedding rings down the aisle. The tradition is for a young boy in your family to perform this role, but you can have anyone do it! From a good friend to your grandpa to your dog to someone literally dressed up as a bear, make this tradition what you want!
The Flower Girl: The flower girl spreads flower petals on the aisle and is traditionally a young girl in the family, but, like the ring bearer, you can adjust this tradition to work for you! It could be Grandma, your best friend, or we’ve even seen flower men! Whatever fits your style! And who says it has to be flower petals you’re spreading? Why not have a bubble cannon or something else that suits you?
Entering with a Parent or Loved One: It’s tradition for your father to walk you down the aisle, which you may want to follow. But you can also walk down the aisle with both of your parents or another loved one in your life. Stepparents, too, can be part of the entrance by walking down with multiple people.
Meeting Your Fiancé: Traditionally, your fiancé waits at the end of the aisle as you walk down. However, you can adjust this tradition however you like! For example, you two could walk down from opposite sides and meet in the middle. Or you could walk down the aisle together. Or, you could each walk down individually.
Something a Little Fancier: For something a little different, you could enter with a bang! Consider a fancy car, horse-drawn carriage, motorcycle, bikes, skateboards, or anything that feels like you!
Activities and Traditions
Did you know there are very few limitations on what you can and can’t do during your wedding ceremony? You can shape the proceedings any way you like! Here are some options to consider:
Reading Your Vows: One of the most intimate and heartfelt moments in a wedding, reading your vows, is an essential part of your wedding day! You can either memorize your vows or have customized vow books to read from to take the pressure off. Pro tip: Practice reading your vows during your first look to shake off some nerves!
Exchanging of Rings: You will put the wedding rings you picked out in advance on each other’s fingers during the ceremony at some point as well. Just make sure the rings make it to the front of the ceremony on time!
Signing Your Marriage License or Ketubah: While signing your marriage license is often done behind the scenes, there’s no reason you can’t incorporate it into your big day! Signing the ketubah, or marriage contract, is a Jewish tradition often incorporated into Jewish ceremonies.
Live Music: You might want live music while guests find their seats and while you’re walking down the aisle. Consider how you want your day to feel, and then find music to set the right mood. A string quartet or an acoustic guitarist is a classic option!
Live Painting: This is the rarest of these I’ve seen, but it might be my favorite! You can hire a live painter to paint your ceremony as it’s happening! This preserves your celebration forever by creating a beautiful work of art to keep in your home!
Unity Ceremonies: There are tons of different types of unity ceremonies, including:
Breaking of the Glass: A traditional Jewish ceremony that represents a hope to have as many happy years together as it would take to gather and reassemble all the tiny pieces of glass.
Lasso Ceremony: The couple is wrapped around and tied together by a lasso or flower garland.
Handfasting Ceremony: An ancient Celtic ceremony where the hands of the couple are tied together to symbolize their two lives coming together.
Foot-Washing Ceremony: Each partner washes the other’s feet to represent a willingness to serve during the marriage.
Creating an Anniversary Box: Couples can put items in it, like a bottle of wine, to open in one year.
Unity Candle: The mother or father of each family lights a candle to represent the uniting of the two families, with you lighting the third!
Creating a “Unity Item” Together: You could pour sand into a vase, create a custom beer or shot, or even make a PB&J!
Tree Planting: Planting a tree where you got married can be a great way to symbolize your love growing over time. Of course, make sure to check with your venue first! This can be especially meaningful if you’re getting married in your backyard or on a property you own.
This is something Kelsey and Justin chose to do. They say, “We decided on a tree planting ceremony as we wanted to show our connection with nature and symbolize the ongoing growth of our love and relationship. The tree will be planted on the property where we got married.”
Readings: Incorporating readings into your ceremony can be a great way to incorporate your values and bring in elements that mean something special to you. A few ideas for readings include:
Religious scriptures
Song lyrics
Excerpts from books
Quotes
Poems
Allie and Connor said, “Choosing the right readings and the right readers was equally important to us. We made a date night of it—made some cocktails and spent hours going over potential readings to find the few that really captured our relationship and how we wanted it to grow. We chose close friends/family to do the readings who have been with us through our whole journey and who would find the ask as an honor, not a burden. Because of these things, the ceremony was perfect and so meaningful. Adding little personal touches and being intentional about each aspect does not go unnoticed.”
Meanwhile, Clara and Clarence chose a non-religious route when choosing their readings. They said, “There are no religious elements to our ceremony. The readings will be a few lines from Cosmos by Carl Sagan, a portion from All About Love by Bell Hooks, the poem “Aedh Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven” by Yeats, and a portion from The Velveteen Rabbit. All of the readings are great, but hopefully will be a little surprising to people who have been to lots of weddings!”
First Dance: While often incorporated into your reception, the first dance can be a great element to add to your ceremony instead! This could be the last element before you exit and could be a shorter dance than one you might have during your reception.
The Big Exit
The exit from your wedding ceremony can be just as fun to plan as the exit from your reception! A few ideas to incorporate include:
Flower Petals or Rice: Fill baskets with something biodegradable for your guests to toss on your way down the aisle. Pro tip: Rice does not explode birds!
Flags or Streamers: Give something to your guests to hold and wave while you walk out.
Bubbles: Equip your guests with bubbles—maybe even a few bubble guns—to spew bubbles everywhere as you walk out! Pro tip: Tell everyone to start blowing bubbles just before you walk down the aisle, or else there won’t be any bubbles until after you’ve walked past!
Mariachi Band or Musician: Play live music as you walk out together. You can incorporate this with some of the other exit options, too!
Hayrack Ride: In the Midwest, it’s common for the wedding party to exit the ceremony by riding in a cart pulled by a tractor or horses.
Getaway Car: Why save your getaway car for just after the reception? Consider a getaway car to take from your ceremony venue to the reception!
But not all exits are recommended! Here are a few to avoid:
Releasing Live Animals (butterflies, doves, etc.): This can be harmful to the animals. And because most are raised in captivity, they don’t survive when released into the wild.
Releasing Balloons, Confetti, Glitter, or Anything That Isn’t Biodegradable: Honestly, this is just a big mess someone has to clean up, and it can be very harmful to the environment!
I hope this post helps you see that the sky is the limit when designing your wedding ceremony! From start to finish, you and your partner can find ways to customize the proceedings, making them unique to your love story. And if one of my couples feels a bit stuck, I love to help them brainstorm! If we haven’t connected yet, be sure to fill out an inquiry form. It’s my honor to photograph weddings across Idaho and the PNW, and I’d love to hear what you’re envisioning!